


Shopping, anyone?

by Soulbarebones



Series: No Grey Area [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Slice of Life, The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:45:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soulbarebones/pseuds/Soulbarebones
Summary: Jeremy has a confession.





	Shopping, anyone?

"Mom, can we talk?"

Lana had been prepared for any number of conversations that started with that phrase. They'd had so many since the death of Jeremy's father, Ira, a little more than a year ago.

"Of course, Bugaboo," Lana smiled and shifted on the couch, turning to put her glass of Cabernet on a coaster on the end table. Jeremy stood there, towering over her for another moment or two, chewing his lip. A wide sheaf of hair, dark like his father's but with her wave and volume, hung in front of his eyes. Lana resisted the urge to brush it back as he turned and flopped down beside her, sinking into the deep cushions at the back of the couch. The cushions that tended to suck you in and never let you go when you were in the throws of a pity party, or maybe just a late night movie marathon. They were the reason that Lana was perched on the edge of the seat, herself. "Tell Mama what's bothering you..."

It really could be any number of things. It had been a rough year for Jeremy, between the loss of his father, entering high school, and the upheaval of friends that naturally occurred with either circumstance. He'd been staying out more, late nights, although he usually came home. He never didn't say where he was, and she trusted him, as much as a teenager could be trusted.

Jeremy stared down at his hands in his lap, pale skin seeming paler still against the darkness of his jeans. Dark washed and skinny cut. His nails were painted black, too, and there was a shimmer of pink glitter on his left thumb and his right ring finger. The nail polish wasn't exactly new. Jeremy had always enjoyed getting a manicure with Lana, right up until third grade when suddenly the kids in his school deemed in "un-cool". Lately the colors had been making a comeback and she hadn't said anything. It wasn't cool when your mom noticed stuff like that, either. And as long as he kept his hands off of her matte nude collection, they wouldn't have any problems.

"Mom, I'm..." Frowning, Jeremy paused again, mulling over his words.

Lana was starting to worry, for a teenager, Jeremy was usually fairly forthcoming and she chalked up that success to her generally laid-back nature and the natural trust that had just always existed between them.

"What?" Lana cracked a smile and nudged him with her shoulder. "Pregnant?"

His eyes shot to her, dagger-dark and quite clear that nowwas not the sort of time for that sort of humor. Still, he didn't speak.

"Come on, Jer. You can tell me. There's nothing you can say that will make me love you any less. Okay? So come on."

She stared expectantly at him and he spread his hands, then examined the lines of his palms.

"Do you want me to guess? Because I'll guess..."

"Mom, no..." His head came up sharply but she was already on a roll.

"So you're not pregnant, did you get somebody pregnant?"

"God, no."

"Okay, are you in trouble? Did something happen? Do I need to call the lawyer?"

"Oh my God, Mom, no..."

"Do you have an STD? I can make you an appointment."

"Jesus, Mom!"

"Are you doing drugs, Jeremy? Not just pot, but I mean, harder stuff?"

"Mom, stop, no."

"Are you gay?"

There was a silence and Jeremy's head lowered again, his hair hiding his eyes. She did brush it back this time, ducking to catch his gaze. "Jeremy. Are you gay? Is that it? Because I've never had a problem with that, you know? I'm totally fine with it, I mean, I'm not even surprised. Everybody is gay these days days, Jeremy-"

"For fuck's sake, Mom!"

Lana stopped as her son wrenched away from her, his eyes troubled and turbulent. She folded her lips together to keep from biting them the way Jeremy was biting his own, red and raw. "Please tell me, Jer...you're starting to scare me."

Jeremy leaned forward and balanced his elbows on his thighs then lowered his head into his hands. "I'm trying, Mom. It's hard, okay? I just...I think...sometimes I feel like...maybe I'm not..."

Not what? Thoughts raced through Lana's head faster than Jeremy would talk. Not good enough? Not coping well with Ira's death? Not College Material? Lana laced her fingers together and held on tightly to keep herself from blurting any of those things out.

"You know...not...not a boy." His breath rushed out of him and Lana held hers. In no way was she prepared for that.

"What do you mean?" Was her voice as calm an even as she willed it? She couldn't tell. Her head was spinning.

"Sometimes, I feel like maybe I'm a girl. Or maybe I'm kind of...a boy and a girl. At the same time. Or maybe...maybe neither. I'm not sure."

"You sound confused," Lana heard herself say. She sure was.

"I mean..."

"Have you told your therapist?"

"Yeah. Ages ago."

Ages ago! It seemed both a betrayal and a relief. "Okay." Lana was calm. Even breaths in and out. Nothing to be alarmed about. Not the end of the world. "So. So what now?"

"That's it, 'So what now'?" Jeremy lifted his head and looked at her, incredulous.

Lana shrugged and picked at her fingernails. She'd have to make an appointment with her own therapist and work through this, but..."Yeah. So sometimes you feel like a girl and sometimes you feel like a boy and sometimes maybe both or neither. You're not in trouble, you're not hurt, or sick, or, or..."

Shrugging, she spread her hands again. "You're my so-" she caught herself. "You're my...child, Jeremy. and I love you. So what? You're not like everyone else? That's fine. You want to go shopping?"

"Just like that?" Jeremy sat straighter. He seemed almost upset that she wasn't more upset. "You're fucking queer, I love you, let's go shopping?"

"Ye-es?" Lana held her hands up. "Am I missing something?"

"Can we go to Veda's?"

"Sure?"

"American Two Shot?"

"Okay?"

"Tictail?"

"If you want?"

"Can I have your credit card?"

Lana grinned. "Not a chance."

"Okay." Jeremy breathed out a laugh.

"Had to see where the line was, am I right?" Lana winked and took his hand. 

"Of course." For a fleeting moment, perhaps for the last time, he was her sweet little boy. And then in a blink, he crossed his legs and the boy was gone.

Lana reached for her wine and willed her eyes not to water. She let go of his hand only long enough to reach for the remote and drop it into his (her? their?) lap. "Here Bugaboo. Put something good on."


End file.
